Party Etiquette: Who Keeps the Party Decorations?
Dear Penelope,
Recently my girlfriend and I hosted a birthday party at a local restaurant for a mutual friend; we paid for her and her daughters’ meals, bought a rather expensive gift and split the cost of the Hawaiian theme decorations. We planned on keeping and storing the decorations for future parties we would give, but the birthday girl indicated she thought she would be taking the decorations home. What is the proper etiquette for this situation?
Carol
Via E-mail
Dear Carol,
A sticky situation indeed. While there is no pre-determined party etiquette for this situation (that I know of, at least), I think that it would have been totally acceptable to say something along the lines of “You know, Sally, Debbie and I had planned on holding on to those decorations for another party we might throw in the future. Do you mind?”
Having just enjoyed a party thrown in her honor, a free meal and heaps of birthday attention in general, your friend would likely have realized that you were in the right to want to keep decorations that you had purchased in the first place. Given your demonstrated affection for her in throwing her a birthday dinner party, she’d be hard-pressed to find a reason to be offended by your wanting to keep your own decorations, even if she had had her eye on them.
In the future, you might make a pre-emptive claim on the decorations during the party by making a simple comment on how useful they’ll be for that next (your theme here) party so that your intention is clear and there isn’t any miscommunication. And don’t be afraid to ask for what’s yours—it’s yours! I hope that helped a bit, and thanks for the question!
Enjoy Planning.
Penelope
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