Birthday Party Etiquette
Hi Penelope,
I will be throwing my own 30th birthday party at a restaurant. Etiquette-wise, is it proper for me to buy a round of appetizers and a pitcher of drinks and have the guests buy their own meals and additional drinks? My guests are old and new coworkers I've made friends with. Also, if I plan to invite my managers, should I invite their wives? Thanks!
Andrea
Via e-mail
Dear Andrea,
Sounds like you’ve got the right idea! Sure, I understand that you might feel an obligation to cover your guests' meals if you've invited them to your party, but that can be extremely expensive and, after all, it's your birthday! Buying some drinks and some appetizers is a nice gesture to thank your guests for coming, but I'm here to set you free from any other dinner expenses you might feel obligated to pay. If your guests have a problem with that, I suggest shopping for some new birthday friends!
As for your managers' wives, I think that you should view this birthday dinner as an opportunity to reach out to your managers and to show them that you value and appreciate their presence at your birthday celebration. What better way to do that than to include their wives? That way, you avoid making your managers feel as though they're the only adults at a kids' party (no, I'm not suggesting that you're immature).
If you're still feeling a little guilty about not buying everyone's dinner, I suggest placing a small party favor at each place on the table before your guests arrive. This can be something as simple as a sample box of chocolates or a reference to an inside joke you share with your coworkers. Is everyone still laughing about this summer's staff baseball game? A simple, thoughtful gesture to that joke would be to place a brand new baseball at each seat to set the light, celebratory tone of your birthday dinner for each guest as soon as they sit down.
Have a great dinner and Happy 30th Birthday!
Enjoy Planning.
Penelope
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